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Nov/16

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‘Storm Scene’ by Edgar

Year 3 have been writing a description of the storm scene from Shakespeare’s ‘The Comedy of Errors’.

Edgar’s was particularly dramatic. Take a look¬†below and then comment. He would be really grateful for your feedback and tips for the future.

A violent storm was upon them. The waves were alive and they were angry. The ship broke broke in half and Aegon said sadly, “I am a droplet in the ocean, and losing it’s others.” The rage of the sea was too strong., it was like thousands of bulls were running wildly into the ship. Aegon looked hopelessly at his family floating away. Is this the end of Aegon?¬†

Aegon spluttered, “Thou hast wait to be rescued by the brave!”

The beastly fish were nibbling at their toes.

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3 comments

  • Mr Cluett

    Author comment by Mr Cluett · November 15, 2016 at 9:01 am

    Very impressive Edgar! You have used some fantastic adjectives and adverbs. You also have a great imagination.
    Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  • Angel · November 26, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Dear Edgar

    I really liked your writing of the Comedy of errors
    it was really good:
    Well done for putting in:
    Adjectives
    Similes
    Adverbs
    and more

    Well done for putting in great effort into your writing Love angel

    Reply

  • Rowan · November 27, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    Dear Edgar
    your really good at your handwriteing
    well done
    for putting
    Adjectives
    Adverbs
    Similes
    And more
    Love your friend Rowan

    Reply

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